Trying to tie up the loose ends

29 Mar

As each day passes I feel better and better emotionally. Still today ended kind of rough and I’ve been in a mood for a few hours. A general feeling of blah brought on by a few things.

The day was mostly uneventful as far as work goes. Talked to my mom a bit. She’s going to the cemetery with my brother tomorrow to look at cremation niches for my dad. She feels like it’s a loose end that needs to be tied up ASAP and I agree. They’re not actually interring him tomorrow, just going to check it out and see how much it will cost. Part of me wants to be there when he’s placed in the niche, part of me isn’t to worried about it. We’re not cemetery people, never were, and I don’t see myself becoming one. I love cemeteries from an aesthetic viewpoint as well as a historical viewpoint, we’re just not the type of people who regularly visit the graves of deceased loved ones. Anyway, so I’m waiting to hear how that goes tomorrow and if my mom needs me to fly home again at some point to help with the burial, or whatever they call it.

Today was also my boss’s last day at the company. It’s been such a pleasure working with him and he’s one of the top 3 bosses I’ve ever had so I’m very sad to see him go. It’s good to have a boss who, when he quits, you are sad and actually cry about it. Yeah, I cried because my boss left. So weird. I’m still not sure if it’s just another manifestation of the loss I’m already feeling or if I’m truly that sad about him leaving. It’s definitely odd though.

Something else that’s bothering me is that I’d like my mom or someone to come visit me. It’s been almost 2 years since we moved here and no one has come. She doesn’t want to come yet as it’s too soon she says. There are loose ends to be tied up at home. Then she doesn’t want to come in the “heat of the summer” which I don’t understand. It’s not any hotter here than in Michigan, it just gets warm a month sooner and stays warm thru November-ish. And she doesn’t want to come in winter. So that leaves September or October. Whatever. I’m not holding my breath. I did get an email from my BFF that she’d like to come down in May so I’m hoping like mad that she can swing it. We need a weekend together to be crazy and carefree.

I spent some time thinking about running. Seems like that’s always on my mind lately. Mostly because I’m trying very hard to stick to running (or trying to run is more like it) every other day. Today was an in-home workout day so I did a Firm DVD which is mostly strength training. I tend to avoid lower body stuff as I despise lunges and squats and the like, I feel that it’s necessary to work on strengthening my neglected lower body for general fitness and in the hopes that it will make this running endeavor more successful. We’ll see…. At any rate, the Firm workouts are getting easier.

I also love the Firm upper body workouts. I see and feel the results of those within just a few weeks so I’m psyched to start seeing a difference in my arms and shoulders sometime soon.

Today Jay asked if I was going to sign up for the Annapolis One Mile Challenge and I told him I’m unsure. Last year I said I wanted to run it this year but with the difficulty I’m having, I’m not sure that’s going to happen so I haven’t registered yet. He’s thinking of working at it and I’m thinking of joining a team of ladies from the police department but I’m not going to decide for a few weeks yet. It’s not until mid-May anyway so I’ve got some time to decide what I want to do.

Tomorrow I’m going to try running again but not use the Personal Running Trainer app on my iPhone. I’m just going to warm up at home and with some walking then do it at my own pace without waiting for the guy in my ear to tell me to run. I’m just gonna wing it and hope it feels OK.

So lots of loose ends in my head and emotions today. Kind of ironic since I’ve joined a bunch of yarn swaps on Ravelry this week. 🙂

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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in Life, Running


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