Lately I’ve been a little bitchy. OK, a lot bitchy. I’m not sure what the cause is. Maybe it’s hormonal, or because I just turned 40 and am facing down the other half of my life, or maybe I’ve somehow lost that filter that usually suppresses the bitchy stuff, or maybe I’m just sick of people and they’re shit. Whatever it is, I sure am bitchy and I’m not afraid to let it all out and tell you what’s on my mind.
It started back in October when one of the other flute players got on my nerves for the last time. I walked right up to her, asked her what her problem with me is, responded and told her to get off my case. She’s a bitch too so a lot of people in the section were really glad that someone finally put her in her place. I’m not usually confrontational and will take a lot of crap before I finally break but she had it coming for a long time. It felt good to finally shut her ass up.
My mother thinks I need to call my doctor and medicate myself. Heh. Maybe. I’ve been on Prozac before during some really low lows. I don’t feel the need for that. I think I’m just sick of all the stupid shit about life and have no patience for anything. For example, the friend who pissed me off last week with the non-communication. I don’t have time or energy for that crap anymore so he can go pound salt. Then there’s all the stupid shit on the news. Just tell me the facts, skip the man on the street crap, get it over in 15 minutes. I don’t need to know how Susie Smith felt when she saw her baby fly out the 4th story window was impaled on the fence post. Just report the event. I don’t need to know what John Doe felt about the big snow storm and his moronic opinion about the morning commute. I don’t need to see 3 different reporters stick their stupid ruler into the snow in various areas across the city and tell me that “it’s really coming down here in Novi”. Just get the frigging average snowfall for the area, tell me, and move the hell on.
Thus my Facebook status from last week which states “My Name is a snarky bitch”. Just wanted to make it official in case no one noticed or thought I wasn’t aware of the fact. This status prompted many questions and comments, such as “what does this mean”, “no you’re not”, “yes you are and that’s why I love you”, “new job title?”, and my personal favorite “shame on whoever turned you that way”.
It’s that last comment that really kills me. Because I don’t see being a snarky bitch as a problem, that it’s something I need to repress, or that I (or anyone else) should be shamed for it. So in response to her comment, I made it very clear that no one should be shamed for making me that way and that I’m perfectly OK with that. In fact, I went off on a snarky bitch rant about her while I was replying.
And why wouldn’t I be? Why is it not OK for a woman to be a bitch? There’s that double standard thing with men and women where it’s still OK for a man to be aggressive and confident but when a woman does it, she’s a bitch and that’s a bad thing.
So just to be perfectly clear, I’m a bitch and I’m OK with it. People just need to not be morons and stay the hell out of my way if they don’t want to endure the wrath of my bitchiness. Drive like a normal person, don’t be a moron, don’t say stupid shit on the news or on Facebook.
So although I think I’m a bitch, I’ve still got that dual personality thing going on at work. The real me is the bitchy me. But the work me is easy going, anal, worried about doing a good job and making sure people like me. According to my boss, I need to work on being more assertive, aggressive, and taking the upper hand. She says that I don’t have a mean bone in my body which tells me that I’m not letting enough of the real me out at work, so I need to work on that a little. It’s one of my goals for 2010. I’m off to a good start but obviously need to apply myself more at work.